Karla Strader vs. Kim Kardashian's Engagement Ring

In the June 27^th issue of People magazine (Mail Bag page 8), Karla Strader voiced her opinion through email about Kim Kardashian’s engagement ring. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but do I sense a little jealousy here? For those of you who didn’t see the write up in People Magazine, here it is:  

“Kim and Kris are a darling couple, and I know they’ve donated time and money to good causes in the past. But it was appalling to read about the ridiculous size and cost of Kim’s ring. When so many people are suffering on account of hunger, floods and tornados, to invest that much money in a ring is mind-boggling. I’d love to see them trade that huge rock in for something smaller and then give the extra money to charity” – Karla Strader

Well, no one asked for my opinion, but I’m going to give it. Just because you have money, it’s your birthright, you’re a celebrity, CEO, or whatever, doesn’t mean you should always have to donate money to a cause or charity. Kim’s Fiancé, Kris Humphries, earned that money and he can spend it anyway he chooses. If he wants to spend a million dollars buying a jock strap that’s personalized, then more power to him. Who am I to voice my opinion on how HE spends HIS money that HE earned? It’s customary for the man to spend at least two months’ salary on the engagement ring. Some may elect to spend more, some less. Some may want to look on eBay or see what kind of deal they can get for their money at a pawn shop or wait for a sale at their local jewelry store. It’s their choice.

I appreciate Karla looking out for “all the suffering people”, but has she donated her money to them? Has she ever asked a man to return an item he bought her and use that money to go to “all the suffering people”? Has she done without a hair color and mani-pedi in the name of “all the suffering people”? Could she have sold her front row tickets to Brad Paisley and Blake Shelton and given the money to “all the suffering people” that she bragged about on Facebook? One June 21^st, Karla’s Facebook post stated “Heading off to Peru and Columbia this trip,haven't been to either one of them before so I hope I have time to see some thing. Check out page 8 in the June 27 issue of People magazine and look for my name!!”.  Looks to me she was only trying to get her name in a magazine. Apparently she has a job that affords her to travel.

Regardless of how much or how little you make or how generous you are with showing your eternal love for someone, there will always be “suffering people”. Here, there and yonder, this world is full of people who need help. Hey Karla, will you sell your car to help the animal shelters provide food and better care for the animals? I appreciate the message you are trying to make. But Geez, why did you feel it necessary to crap on someone’s big day just because someone can afford more? Would the situation have been different IF the ring’s value wasn’t put out there for everyone to know? Would it have been different if the happy couple hadn’t been on the cover of this magazine telling everyone their news? They could have kept it private, but then you would never have got your name in the magazine.

I personally could care less how much the ring costs. Yes, it’s a gorgeous ring and it looks beautiful on her. Kim and Kris do make a lovely couple. I’m happy for them and wish them a lifetime of endless love. It’s a shame the energy Karla used to write the little article couldn’t have been better spent somewhere else…like on “all the suffering people”.

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A Little Perspective and a Pitcher of Margaritas

I was having a conversation with my friend Karen the other day and I was telling her how bad I have always hated living in the south. It’s just too damn hot here. It seems the only time I really love living here is in the fall and winter months. I do not like the humidity and heat of the summer months. When it’s so hot outside you can’t breathe and even the shade doesn’t provide much comfort. Why do I always subject myself to this? Every summer it seems to be getting hotter and hotter. And every summer I bitch about how hot it is and I always say to my Mom, “tell me again why we live in the south?” 

I expressed to Karen the only reason I stay here is because of my parents. They are both in their 80’s and I’m the only child. I am still needed in some small way, to help them when they need it, run errands, or even to visit. If it wasn’t for my parents, I would move to some place I could call my Utopia that had the most pleasant weather all year round. I love snow, but I don’t want to live in Alaska. So where is my Utopia? I want some place with no humidity and the summer months don’t get above 80 degrees. Is that too much to ask for? I can get a job anywhere doing anything. So up and leaving everything I know isn’t a big deal or a problem for me. We don’t have children so there is nothing keeping us here…except for my parents. Tim and I both love traveling, meeting new people and seeing new places. We would not have a problem at all adjusting.

I received this email from Karen the next morning:

I thought this morning about what you said about ties and feeling stuck in Memphis and such. It's the grass is greener situation sometimes. You have family and are surrounded by love (and a little nuttiness - ha) and have ties and stability and those are all really nice things. Sorta warm and fuzzy looking in from this vantage point. So, while being more free might seem out of reach, you sort of have the best of both worlds. Vacations and yet, a stable "home". Job well done.

Karen has a way of putting things in perspective for me. Helping me to see there is another side to ponder. Having our little family (my parents and Tim) and familiar territory and people are huge. Maybe we could just settle for spending our vacation time at the places we would like to live – just visit different states. By the time we are retirement age, we will already know where we would like to purchase our summer home. Being young, I always thought it was weird how the “old people” would travel back and forth through the seasons. Now I realize they knew what they were doing! One of these days, I am going to be one of those “old people” traveling between homes. My Grandmother was from NY, where the winter months could be brutal on the old folk (and young too). I remember my Grandmother and her husband leaving NY in early fall headed to Texas for the winter. When spring time rolled around, they would leave and head back to NY. I am so going to be one of those people!! Only my plan will be reversed – during the summer months I will leave the South for a more desirable climate. Once winter hits, I will return to the south. Yeah, sounds like a wonderful plan!!

So in the mean time, I guess I just need to get a pool to cool my hot ass off in the summer. Now that’s not a bad idea! A cool place to chill out in with a pitcher of margaritas would be so nice. So thank you Karen, for helping me see where I need to be…for now. Cheers!

Stop and Back Away from the List

I don’t know about your family, but in my family when we have a get together whether it’s a holiday meal or not, there is a list to be made. A list of the food that we want to serve, a grocery list of what we need to buy and a check-off list to make sure everything is on the table. These lists can serve to be very beneficial to the person who is doing the grocery shopping and cooking the food. The person doing the cooking can at anytime make changes to the said list, without prior notice.

Now, my family is small. And when I say small, it’s just my parents, my husband and I. So there aren’t many people who are affected by these lists. Ever since I can remember, my Mom has always made a list of any food that was served, what occasion it was (Easter, Mothers Day, Fathers Day, Christmas, etc) and who all attended, what we drank and what desserts we had. It doesn’t matter who is doing the cooking, my Mom will be making a list. She doesn’t cook anymore, but she makes the list. She doesn’t make the grocery list, just writes down what we are having.

When a dinner involving my Mom is going to happen, she has to go over the menu and go over it and go over it, make a list and talk about it, ask questions, lots of questions, all the time. I'm like "fuuu----k!" That's too much shit. I don’t need all this mental preparation. She will ask me what she is to bring and we go over that too. Not once, but several times. I even tried to say, “This is what I'm cooking. This is what you're bringing. It’s done. It's over”. To keep my stress level down, I came up with the perfect idea – I will cook everything! She doesn’t have to worry her pretty little head over anything. All you have to do is show up. I’ll do it all. So over the last several years, when she would ask what she could bring, I say "just yourself". Guess what? It didn’t work! That didn’t stop her from making a list of the shit I'M making and we have to go over that f----king list as well. A time or two I have said what we were having, then changed it only to hear “Well I don’t have that on the list”. Ugh! By the time this meal is over, I am ready for a margarita! Not one, but a pitcher full!

Each little detail about that meal will forever be recorded on a little piece of paper and tucked away, to be pulled out at some random time to remind you of what you ate and who was there. Yet there is nothing on this little piece of paper, mentioning who pissed me off by making a list, if the food was good, did anyone get sick from eating too much, were there any leftovers? You get the gist of it. Do I care that in 1992, my ex-husband was there and this is what we ate? Especially if I am married to someone different now? Nooooooooo!

I do make a list of the foods I would like to have and then I make my grocery list from that. And as I’m setting the table and putting the food on the table, I check my list to make sure I have everything out and that something hasn’t been forgotten. Oh, and my Mom will ask if I am going to take a picture of the table with all the food on it. Why is that necessary? I would much rather have photos of everyone around the table enjoying the food. Thirty years of food photos that doesn’t even remotely look appetizing is not my thing.

So, in the whole scheme of things, this is my Mom’s thing. It still drives me crazy and it won’t be long before I say “we are eating out!” These lists are something she wants to look back on (for whatever reason), but I don’t see the point. In the end, no feelings hurt. We can agree to disagree. All that matters is that we have a good time, eat a wonderful meal and enjoy being together. So tell me, where does the list fit in all that??